Saturday, February 27, 2010

Scooped

Saturday afternoon: Mommy, Daddy, Bean and Goobs are sitting in the family room. Daddy and Bean are playing with Lego's. Goobs is chewing a toy caterpillar.


Mommy: "So, things are pretty peaceful. I think I'll run out for a while - go to the coffee shop and write a little. You ok here with the boys?"

Daddy: "Sure. As long as you aren't going to go blog about how I scooped you this morning."

Mommy: (with a surprised look on her face) "Oh, so you are acknowledging that you did that. I thought you were in to much of a sleep induced coma to notice that."

Daddy: "Well, you said you would get up with Goobs. I just took you up on it."

Mommy: "You didn't just take me up on it; you practically shoved me out of bed in the process. I don't think I have ever seen someone roll back over so quickly."

Daddy: "It was 6:30. It wasn't that early and you offered."

Mommy: "Well, obviously it wasn't a real offer. I just said "do you want me to get up with him" to wake you up and let you know that he was up."

Daddy: (laughing) "I know. But you did offer. I totally scooped you."

Mommy: "hmph"

Daddy: (thinking, then says a little sheepishly) "You can sleep in tomorrow. You aren't really mad are you?"

Mommy: "No. I was just surprised that you were so quick to say OK. Did you even consider getting up with him?"

Daddy: (now beginning to feel guilty) "Yes?"

Mommy: "Yeah, right."

Daddy: "You are going to blog about this aren't you?"

Mommy: (smiles, winks, and packs her computer up to head to the coffee shop)

Friday, February 26, 2010

Saving some for Daddy

Bean and Mommy are sitting in the family room playing Lego's, once again.

Bean: "Mommy, I love you so so so so so so so much."

Mommy: "I love you too Peanut. That is a lot of "so's"

Bean: "Well Mommy, I have a lot of love."

Mommy: (heart turning to total mush and very glad that her 3 year old doesn't yet know that when he says things like that he could, at that very moment, have anything he asked for) "Yes, you do have a lot of love."

Bean: "I saved some for Daddy for when he gets home so you can't have it all Mommy."

Mommy: "Ok, I'll take what I can get."

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Best Years?

Thursday night. Mommy and Daddy are sitting on the couch. Watching Survivor. The same show they have been watching every Thursday night for 10 years. (They realize this is slightly pathetic, no comments on this please).

Mommy: "So I read in a magazine today that these years, when our children are young, are the best years of our life. Are these the best years of our life? 'Cuz if they are I kind of want to know so I can really enjoy them"

Daddy: "Well, there is a lot of good stuff that happens with them. I mean, we have a lot of fun with them."

Mommy: "Yeah, I just thought I would be better rested and have more money during 'the best years'."

Daddy: "Your parents do look happy. They seem to be enjoying retirement and their money."

Mommy: "But they seem to want to spend an awful lot of time with those two monsters."

Daddy: "Maybe we should start charging for visits. Then we can all be living 'the best years'."

God Provides

Dining room table. Dinner time. Mommy and Bean are discussing last nights bedtime stories. One of said stories was a bible story from his children's bible about how God provides.

Bean: "Mommy, do the flowers have to worry about what to wear?"

Mommy: "No, they don't have to worry because God provides for them right."

Bean: "Hmmm"

Mommy: "What kind of things does God provide for us?"

Bean: "Hmmmm"

Mommy: "Well, he provided Daddy with a good job so that he can make money to buy clothes and food and a house to live in."

Bean:  "And car washes, Mommy. God provides car washes."

Mommy: "Hmmm"

My way

Family room. Mommy and Bean are building skyscrapers with Lego's. Mommy is building while Tommy watches.

Bean: "Mommy, you aren't doing it right."

Mommy: "Well, I'm doing it this way. This is the way I want to do it."

Bean: "But Mommy, that isn't the way Poppop does it."

Mommy: "Well, I'm doing it my way. Not everything has to be done the way Poppop does it sweetie."

Bean: "But Mommy, Poppop's way is the right way."

Mommy: (trying to mask her irritation) "Look it, I grew up having to do everything Poppop's way. Now that I am all big and grown up I get to do things my way."

Bean: "But Poppop says his way is the right way."

Mommy: (staring at her child in complete disbelief and wondering if there isn't some conspiracy going on and if perhaps little Bean has been coached by his Grandfather to give Mommy a hard time) "Well, Poppop isn't here so we get to do it my way. My way is fun. Watch."

Bean: (index finder tapping his mouth - his thinking pose) "No, I think we should do it Poppop's way. It's better to do it the right way."

Mommy: (sighs, feeling completely defeated) "Ok. But if Poppop asks, make sure you tell him that we did it my way."

Bean: "Ok Mommy."

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

We're hot.

Living room. Mommy and Daddy are eating a dinner of left over chili warmed in the microwave and watching a rerun of "The Office".

Mommy: "So, the tire is flat on the van."

Daddy: "When did that happen."

Mommy: "I think it must have happened on our way home from the Play Museum. We got home ok, but when I went out to the car later it was totally flat."

Daddy: "Kay, I'll take a look at it and call in the morning to have it fixed."

Mommy: (looking down at the luke warm dinner and at her own shirt that has spit up and what she thinks might be a little bit of baby poo on it) "Did you ever think we would be sitting here talking about having our minivan fixed? How hot are we?"

Daddy: (with mouth full of chili, still staring at the tv) "We're pretty hot. That minivan has some pep to it."

Mommy: "You're just saying that because you don't have to drive it everyday. It's NOT hot. "

Daddy: (puts his spoon down, looks Mommy in the eye) "Well, Bean says that 'Mommy's van is the fastest van ever.'"

Mommy: (ponders this for a moment) "It is pretty fast. And I did just get new $5 sunglasses from Target. Ok, I guess it's hot."

I want to sell drugs

Living room. Lots and Lots of Trucks is playing on the television. Currently Bean's favorite video. It is a video of trucks driving down the road with some very cheesy country type music playing the background.
see those big wheels roaring down the road.
Lots and lots of trucks,
let's fire 'um up and watch 'em go.

Mommy and Bean are watching this video together. Mommy is becoming a little concerned that she knows all the words to these songs by heart and can sing them as dinnertime entertainment. Goobs is sitting on the couch, unassisted, watching Bean watch the television. Goobs laughs every time Bean sings along with the video.

Mommy:  (With a little worry and some resignation in her voice) "Oh Bean, you love these trucks so much. Are you going to be a truck driver when you grow up?"
Bean: "No Mommy. I am going to sell drugs just like Aunt Rachel."
Mommy: "Who told you about what Aunt Rachel does."
Bean: "No one, I just know things."
Mommy: "Honey, Aunt Rachel works for a drug company. She sells medicine, to help sick people get better. You want to sell medicine like Aunt Rachel, right?"
Bean: "No Mommy, I want to sell drugs."
Mommy: "Ok, well, when child protective services comes to find out what the heck is going on in our family, make sure you tell them that Aunt Rachel has a very fancy degree from a very fancy college that makes it ok for her to sell drugs."
Bean: "Ok Mommy."
Goobs: (smiles and giggles) "Ya Ya, Ma Ma"














All by myself

Bean: "Mommy, I feel a toot toot coming."

Mommy: "Run, run like the wind child. You go sit your little self on that potty and do it like a big boy!"

Bean: (after two very involved stories made up by Mommy involving diggers, a construction site, Ernie and some hairy spaghetti...) "Mommy, I did it. I did a toot toot all by myself"

Mommy: (With tears in her eyes, quiver in her voice, in complete disbelief that everyone was actually right and that eventually all that effort would pay off and he would start doing it by himself) Oh Bean, that is so wonderful. Look how big you are. It's because you are three now. I am sooooo proud of you. "

Bean: (Said with great inflection and slight surprise) "Oh Mommy, I am so proud of myself!"

Mommy: "I think you should have two Hershey kisses for that. One for the toot toot and one for telling me you had to go."

Bean: "Maybe I should have three Hershey kisses Mommy."

Mommy: "How about one?"

Bean: "No, let's do what you said before. Two is good."