Saturday. Mommy has just returned from running errands and getting a haircut. Daddy is looking a little frazzled. Nap time did not go very well. There have been multiple tinkle accidents and the house is pretty much destroyed.
Daddy: (looks at Mommy when she comes in. He begins talking about Bean.) "I'm tired. He is nuts. He has sort of just been going crazy all afternoon. It's like the second I turn my back, he is into something. Three is a crazy age."
Mommy: (She puts her smug face on. Gets the "see how difficult my life is...I so have this all figured out...I can do this job so much better than you can tone in her voice) "Well, you have to be very diligent with him. If his energy isn't being directed by you he will get into something. Can't check email. Can't talk on the phone. Can't turn you back. It's exhausting, isn't it."
Daddy: (Feeling complete defeated. Can't say anything about the patronizing tone in her voice because he realizes that the 3-year-old got the better of him and ultimately she is right.) "I thought I was going to lose it when I went to look at my computer for two seconds and I turn around and he has smeared vaseline all over the wall."
Mommy: (Smirks, and nods her head) "Yep, gotta watch him closely."
A few hours pass. Daddy goes down to do the laundry. Mommy is in the family room with the boys. Daddy come back upstairs. Looks at the wall where the vaseline was smeared earlier.
Daddy: "Ugh, I thought I got it all off. There is still some on there. "
Daddy washes the vaseline off of the wall. Evening comes. Boys are in bed. Mommy crawls into bed, Daddy quickly follows. Mommy lays there awake for a little while.
Mommy: (Whispers) "Are you awake?"
Daddy: (groggy. Clearly he was half asleep) Hmmmm? What?
Mommy: "So remembrr how you came up from doing the laundry today and there was still vaseline on the wall?"
Daddy: (says with a suspicious voice) "Yeah."
Mommy: "Well, that may not have been from when he did it with you. It may have happened while I was watching them while you were doing laundry."
Daddy: (the smirk on his face can practically be heard in the darkness) "Oh really. I remember this very wise mother telling me once that you have to be diligent. Can't turn your back on them for one second. What were you doing when he did that?"
Mommy: (hates eating crow, but at least she fessed up) "Checking my email."