Sunday, March 14, 2010

Escape

Bean is on the couch watching Mighty Machines. Mommy is working on dinner. Ernie is pacing. Goobs is sitting in his high chair watching Mommy cook. Mommy goes to the front door to get the mail. Before she knows what is happening, Ernie escapes and begins running down the street.

Mommy: (at the top of her lung) "Ernie! Get back here! Ernie come!"

Ernie stops, looks at Mommy, puts his "Yeah right lady. Freedom! Freedom!" look on his face and continues running.

Mommy: (Very aware that all of her neighbors can probably hear her and are probably shaking their heads thinking to themselves "I hope she doesn't yell at her children like that".) "Ernie! I'm not chasing you. I can't leave the babies. I'm NOT following you!"

Ernie let's out a bark, turns and continues running down the street. Mommy thinks she just saw her neighbor look out her upstairs window at, who will now be known as, "the crazy woman across the street who tries to reason with her dog."

Bean: (comes to the door) "Oh Ernie, come back."

Ernie stops, looks at Bean standing in the doorway. Ernie begins running as fast as he can back toward the house. He runs in the front door and heads straight to his bed and lies down.

Bean: (Runs over, pats Ernie on the head) "Oh Ernie, you are such a good beast."

Mommy: (Glaring at Ernie. It is now painfully obvious who is the alpha dog in the house and she is pretty sure that every dog training and parenting book would seriously discourage letting it be the 3 year old. ) "Seriously Ernie? You listen to him? What about me? I'm the Mom here. I'm in charge."

Bean: "I know you are in charge Mommy. Just like you tell me."

Mommy sighs. It's all she can do at this point. She is really sick of her voice from all the yelling at the dog and the way her 3 year old tells it, she sounds like a tyrant who is always telling people that she is in charge. She sighs again and goes to finish making dinner.

2 comments:

  1. Don't forget you mentioned earlier that YOU wanted this beast! Perhaps he needs to go to visit the "country house" to get some exercise!

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  2. Two comments:

    1. Must have approval of all residents at country house prior to Ernie visits.

    2. Look on the bright side. At least Ernie wasn't waiting for the bus at the corner of Meadow & Monroe where he has been seen in the past.

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