Friday, April 30, 2010

Bean - Attorney at Law

Mommy has just returned home from the grocery store. Daddy, Bean and Goobs are in the family room playing while Mommy puts away the groceries.

Bean: "Let's play guns Daddy."

Mommy: (Not sure what happened while she was at the grocery store, she was gone for less than an hour and her son has become a card carrying member of the NRA) "Um, what is all this gun talk?"

Daddy: "He was watching that trucks video. Yes I put him in front of a video while you are gone, there you caught me. Anyway, they had an army tank with guns. He asked me about them so I told him."

Mommy: (Often suspected that Daddy turned the tv on when she went out. It is sometimes the only way to account for the lack of destruction when she got home from runnig errands) "Bean, how about we play something nicer than guns."

Bean: (Comes into the kitchen) "But what will I play if I don't play guns Mommy. Uncle Jess gets to play guns."

Mommy: "Honey, Uncle Jess is in the Army. He doesn't play with guns, it's his job."

Daddy: (Sarcastically from the other room) "Well, I can't compete with that. Bet you won't ever hear him asking to play lawyer."

Bean: (His eyes get wide as if he has just heard the most life changing news) "Daddy! Let's play Lawyer!"

Daddy: (Laughs like he doesn't care, but Mommy can tell secretly that his is a little happy the Bean wants to play lawyer, if for no other reason than because that is what Daddy does) "Well, we can play, but I don't think you are going to like it very much."

Bean: "How do we play lawyer Daddy?"

Daddy: "Well, you send some emails, read lots of papers, have meetings and charge lots of money."

Bean goes out to the family room and gets his alphabet computer, his briefcase in which he carries toy  catalogs and his play phone. He sets up shop on the living room couch.

Bean: (Carrying his briefcase from the family room to the kitchen) "I'm delivering the emails Mommy."

Mommy: "That's great. How are your meetings going."

Bean: "Oh, they're ok.

Mommy: "Is playing lawyer fun?"

Bean: "Well, no. Maybe I wish Daddy was in the Army like uncle Jess so that I could play Army tank and guns."

Mommy: "Well, you get what you get kid. Not much we can do about Daddy being a lawyer now. Once you go over to the dark side there is no going back."

Daddy: (From the other room) "Hey, I can hear you out here. "

Bean: (Looks at Mommy like she is crazy and has no idea what is going on) "I'll keep playing lawyer Mommy. But I don't want to charge a lot of money."

Mommy: "Well then my friend, you won't be a very good lawyer if you don't charge a lot."

Daddy: (Still from the other room) "I can still hear you! We have to make a living too you know!

Bean: (Thinks for a moment, then nods his head when he comes to a decision) "Well, I won't charge you a lot of money Mommy, just Daddy."

Mommy: "That sounds about right."


  1. No one ever asked Uncle Tom to play lawyer with them. Perhaps Tommy would do that when he is here in June. Of course, being retired 5 years now he may not remember how!

  2. You make me laugh! Your writing reminds me of when I had two little boys. I wish I'd done something like this when they were little (OH, that's right, that was before the Internet!;-)