Monday, April 5, 2010

Monday

It is a typical Monday morning. Bean is cranky because Daddy has to go back to work. Goobs has been awoken from his morning nap by the screams of Bean as he was being tortured by his mother because she was making him get dressed. Mommy goes up to get Goobs, leaving Bean downstairs by himself. Mommy changes Goobs diaper and gets him dressed. She is upstairs for all of 5 minutes when she comes back down.

Bean is standing in the family room with no pants or underware on. Mommy sees him as she is approaching the room and isn't startled. She figures he must have taken himself to the bathroom. He is standing on the far side of the room. Very, very still, which makes Mommy nervous. She enters the room.

Mommy: (Gasps. She sees the baby cereal box laying on the floor of the family room and knows what a disaster that could potentially be.) "What is going on out here?"

Bean: (Looks at Mommy. Trying to read her and figure out if he is in trouble) "I was making big boy cereal. Oh Mommy, I love you."

Mommy will not be fooled. She walks further into the room and sees more. Part of the box of baby cereal has been poured out onto the carpet. Mommy thinks "no problem, I can just vaccum that up." Then she sees the quart of half & half that has been taken out of the fridge and poured onto Daddy's desk and mixed with some of the cereal in the seat of the Baby Bumbo. She takes a closer look at the Baby Bumbo and sees various Lego men mixed in with the cereal and half & half. Mommy laughs a little. Not feeling very mad.Then she looks down at Bean. He looks up at her and smiles and she thinks to herself "well, whatever, I was going to clean this morning anyway." Then she notices again the he isn't wearing any pants.

Mommy: "Where are your pants?"

Bean: "In the bathroom, I had to do a tinkle"

Mommy: (Feeling very proud of her potty trained three year old, she goes into the bathroom to get the pants) "Ahhh! What happened in here!

There is tinkle all over the bathroom. Bean climbed on the potty and tried to go but missed  the toilet completely. Pee. All over the bathroom floor. Mommy looks a littel closer. Sees the baby cereal mixed with the tinkle on the bathroom floor.

Mommy: "Kay, the half & half was funny but this is just gross."

Bean: "I think so too Mommy. Can you clean it up."

Mommy is standing in the tinkle sprayed bathroom looking out at her family room which is covered with some dry baby cereal, some wet baby cereal a whole lot of half and half, an 8-month-old who is crawling towards the sloppy mess and  half naked 3-year-old. Ernie slyly comes into the room as starts licking the wet baby cereal off of the carpet.

Mommy: "I was wrong. It's all gross."

Bean: "But I'm not gross Mommy."

Mommy: "No sweetie. You aren't gross. It's just that all of this mess is kinda gross."

Bean: (He looks around at the mess and nods his head. Goes over to Ernie who has started licking the cereal out of the Baby Bumbo) "No Ernie, don't do that. Mommy will think you are gross and try to clean you up."


2 comments:

  1. Oh Alli, at least you can laugh about it...

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  2. Perhaps a budding future famous chef? Altho this almost sounds like an art form. Blame it on his dad's genes.

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