Friday, April 23, 2010

Upstairs/Downstairs

Daddy has just returned home from work. The house is a little bit of a disaster. Bean was a race car driver all day and there are cars everywhere to show for it. Goobs has begun learning how to pull items out of the cupboards faster than Mommy can put them back in. Daddy surverys the damage on his way in, and looks at Mommy.

Daddy: (with a little worry and skepticism in his voice) "So, how was your day?"

Mommy: "I know the house is a complete mess, but we had a really good day, so no comments please."

Daddy: "You look tired."

Mommy: "I said it was a good day, not a restful day."

Bean: "Mommy! Mommy! Let's go upstairs and help Daddy change his clothes."

Mommy: "Ok, you run up, I'll meet you up there." (Hands Goobs to Daddy) "Can you take the baby up. I'll be up in a second."

Daddy, Bean and Goobs all head upstairs. Mommy makes a motion to get off of the couch but strangely, her body just won't move. She is paralyzed. "Oh well," she thinks to herself . "I guess I will just have to sit here on the couch, alone, in the quiet, until they come back down."

As Mommy sits on the couch downstairs, this is the conversation she hears upstairs:

Bean: "Ahhh!! Monster!"

Daddy: "Wait! You need to have your underwear on before you crawl all over our bed!"

Goobs: (Loud laughter and squealing)

Stomp, stomp, stomp. BANG!!!

Bean: (screaming and crying at the same time) "Daddy! Ahhh!"

Daddy: "You ok in there Bean?"

Bean: (quickly recovering) "Yes, I'm just riding the escalator Daddy."

Bang, stomp, stomp, CRASH!!.

Bean: "Ouch!"

Daddy: "See that's why you need to have underwear on!" (He begins to sing a song to a made up tune) “Butt crack, baby butt crack.”

At this point Mommy is rolling her eyes and can't decide if it was a mistake to send them up alone of if she is glad she isn't up there. She is really glad Daddy has now taught Bean the term “butt crack” and is sure that it will come up at the next dinner with either Grandma or Grandpa or Mommom or Poppop.

Bean: (Begins singing to the same tune) “Butt crack, baby butt crack.

Bean comes down the stairs, with shirt on, completely naked from the waist down wearing Mommy's shoes and singing the new favorite tune of the house.

Mommy: "Lovely Bean. That's just lovely."

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