Sunday, May 30, 2010

Bean Huxtable?

Mommy and Daddy have finally finished clearing out the basement and setting it up as their office. When they moved into the house 4 years ago, the basement contained a double basin sink made entirely of concrete and a makeshift bathroom that was so dark, dingy and downright creepy that a friend once referred to it as the "scary secret murder bathroom".

The murder bathroom has been disassembled and the sink has been broken apart and replaced with a shiny new sink (much thanks Poppop). The hand-me-down furniture and other collection of things that has traveled with Mommy and Daddy since they got married 10 years ago is also gone. They have put down new carpet and set up their desks. This is the first time they feel as if they have a place of their own, untouched by children. It is to be a place they can retreat to when they can't stand looking at the mess that seems to have slowly overtaken them. They do realize that it is slightly pathetic that the dark, slightly damp basement is a place of paradise for them, but they intend to take what they can get.

It's the morning after Mommy and Daddy have finished the basement. They are eating breakfast with Bean and Goobs.

Daddy: "Hey, it's going to be really nice to go downstairs to do the laundry. I'm actually looking forward to seeing it again. I think we did a really great job on the basement."

Mommy: (She is vigorously shaking her head, trying to get Daddy to stop talking. She doesn't want Bean to overhear. The basement has always been a no kids zone because of the clutter, dirt and basic unlivability. If all goes according to plan it could be years before Bean realizes that there is a living space down there. Mommy was hoping to keep it under wraps and not clue Bean in on the reformation any time soon but Daddy just blew it.) "Yes, we did a good job cleaning it up.  Even though we just use it for doing laundry. It's good to get things a little cleaner, so we can do laundry. Because that is all the basement is really for, laundry."

Bean: (Mommy can see him thinking. She is hoping he doesn't ask. Please, please let him ignore what Daddy just said. Just this once God. Let him not hear what Daddy was saying.) "I want to see the basement Daddy."

Daddy: (Realizing what he has done, tries to recover) "Oh, it's no big deal. We just put a few things away and moved the freezer."

Bean: (Not buying it for a second. When Mommy wants him to do something, he doesn't hear a thing, but when it involves a moved freezer, he is all ears.) "No Daddy, I think I want to see the basement. Pleeeeeeese."

Mommy: (Nods to Daddy. She sighs and says in a very defeated and slightly depressed tone) "We'll take you down after breakfast.”

Breakfast is finished and Bean doesn't forget about the basement. They take the boys down and when they get there Bean's eyes get very wide. He sees the open floor space. He see the desks, nicely organized and neat. He sees the sewing machine and all of Mommy's things set up and ready for her to use. He sees the empty table that Mommy intends to use as her sewing table, pulls a chair up to it and takes a seat.

Bean: "Oh Mommy. This is really nice. Can I bring all my trucks down here Mommy?"

Mommy: (She is feeling as if she is in an episode of The Cosby Show. Surely this is something Cliff Huxtable would complain about...kids taking over a room he just fixed up for himself. She has a brief glimpse of what life might be like with teenagers in the house, starts to feel a little sick and decided to lay down the law. ) "No, you may bring one truck down. And, you can only come down here if Mommy is down here. And, you can't touch anything unless you have my permission. Wait, no! This space is just for Mommy and Daddy and you really can't come down here at all. Yeah! This is Mommy and Daddy's office and it is off limits to you kids."

Bean: (Still sitting at the empty table he is thinking very hard) "Ok Mommy. I will only bring down 3 trucks and this can be my desk."

If only they would make a sitcom out of my life. I could be a millionaire and build a whole wing on the house just for me! 

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