Mommy is traveling with Daddy, Bean and Goobs to New Jersey for her cousin's wedding which Bean was kindly asked to be in. They are planning to meet Mommom, Poppop, Aunt Rachel and Aunt Bethie in New Jersey where they will all stay in the same hotel. Mommy hasn't traveled with her whole family since having Goobs and she is feeling a little nervous about the demands of two children, a husband, two parents and some sisters.
Mommy and Daddy were unable to sleep on the morning of the big trip. They planned to leave the house around 8 am, but since they were up at 4 due to nerves, they decided to leave early, beat the traffic and get to the hotel before everyone else. This would give them a chance to get settled and oriented before the onslaught of aunts and grandparents. That was the intention.
They manage to leave the house at 6am for what should be a 6 hour drive. Bean and Goobs are troopers. They travel well, take potty breaks when requested, even manage to nap a little. The town they are driving to is just outside of Philadelphia. Mommy has purchased a new GPS system for the trip and is feeling extra confident that she will be able to maneuver the Philly traffic and get the family there earlier than expected and with little headache.
Poppop has given Mommy very specific instructions, in excruciating detail, as to which route to take to avoid the traffic. Poppop has been traveling this area for 40+ years. Mommy decides that Poppop may give good directions but the GPS gives better ones and she will just follow the little computerized screen.
By the time they get to the Philadelphia area they have been in the car for about 7 hours. Mommy is driving since she knows this route best. They hit a little traffic, but Mommy isn't worried. She can handle a little traffic. Daddy is in the back seat doing a great job of keeping everyone entertained. Mommy is a confident driver and she is good in the city. She figures her New York plates will scare a few people off her bumper and excuse any rude driving that she may do. Mommy is following the GPS and in the blink of an eye misses an exit. Mommy is forced to take the another exit to try and get back to the route she was supposed to be on. There is construction and a detour, only the GPS doesn't know there is a detour so Mommy is lost. In central Philly. With a husband, an infant and a three-year-old.
Mommy: (trying really really hard to not let Bean hear his first swear word come from his Mother's mouth) "Crap! We're lost. This GPS is crap!
Daddy: "Careful Mommy. Little ears back here. Can I help?"
Mommy: (Very irritated and trying really hard to keep it together. She has been up since 4 and she is tired. At the last rest stop Mommy actually forgot to go to the bathroom with all the diapers to change and potty breaks to take so consequently she has to go to the bathroom very, very badly as well. She answers Daddy rather snippily) "Don't talk to me, that would help."
Daddy: (Very glad he is sitting in the back seat) "Sorry. Let me know if I can do anything."
Bean: "Mommy, are we lost."
Mommy: (Sighs and really really doesn't want to say it out loud because then it's true) "Yes, I think we are. But don't worry. We just bought this fancy dancy GPS thing and it will help."
Bean: "If it helps Mommy, how come we are lost?"
Daddy: (Can see Mommy's face starting to turn red in the rear view mirror and chimes in so that Mommy won't regret anything she may say) "Oh it was just a detour. There was construction."
Daddy and Bean continue talking about construction. All the while Goobs is getting cranky and is ready for some food. Mommy is still trying to find a way out of the city and after about 30 minutes and 15 turns she finally sees a sign for the route they are looking for. They are sitting at a stop light with the entrance ramp in sight.
Bean: "Mommy, look at all the skyscrapers. Wow Mommy! This was a good way!"
Mommy: "Well, I'm glad you liked it. We did it just for you Bean."
Mommy: (Looking at Daddy in the rear view mirror) "Kay, don't ever ever tell him I said this, but maybe I should have listened to my Dad on this one."
Daddy: (Laughs and smirks in the back seat.) "Well, he has been driving this route a lot longer than you."
Mommy: (Narrows her eyes - her I'm serous here face. She looks at Daddy) "Seriously, if you ever tell him I just said that to you I will absolutely deny it and I will not be happy with you."
Daddy: "Are you kidding me? Do I look stupid? I wouldn't dare."
They get back on the intended route and hit more traffic. Mommy figures this is better than being completely lost in downtown Philly so she isn't feeling all that upset anymore. Besides, they are only 2 1/2 hours later than when they should have arrived, thanks to the fancy dancy GPS and Mommy's stubborn streak.
Bean: (As they are arriving at the hotel) "Mommy, are you sure we are going the right way now? Maybe next time Daddy should drive. Or maybe Poppop."