Bean is preparing for his first stint as a ring bearer. Mommy suspects that she is more nervous than he is. The bride is especially gracious and has reassured Mommy that if Bean doesn't make it down the isle no one will be upset. Even so, Mommy would much prefer that Bean be remembered for how well he went down the isle instead of the fit he threw when "go time" came.
During the rehearsal the night before, Bean walked down the isle but walked a little fast. It is the day of the wedding and Mommy and Bean are in the hotel getting ready and Mommy is going over a few of the details.
Mommy: "So Bean, when you walk down the isle, are you going to walk quick like a bunny or slow like a turtle?"
Bean: (He thinks for a moment. His eyes light up with his devilish i'm up to no good face.) "I'm going to walk slow like a turtle."
Bean begins walking on all fours like a turtle. Mommy is worried.
They arrive at the wedding and Mommy is waiting with Bean until it is his turn to walk down the isle. Mommy is giving him a pep talk.
Mommy: "You're going to do great. Now remember, walk nice and slow and hold the pillow up."
Bean: (Gets down on all fours) "I'm going to walk like a turtle Mommy."
Bean is about to walk down the isle of the wedding on all fours like a turtle. Why oh why did Mommy try and be clever? Why couldn't she just have given him clear instructions to walk slowly? Mommy knows the laid back bride will be alright if he chickens out at the last minute, but she isn't so sure how she would feel about a turtle for a ring bearer.
Mommy: (In complete desperation. She lays her cards all out on the table and hopes that Bean will understand the tone of desperation in her voice) "Please, oh please Bean, just walk down the isle on your two feet, nice and slowly. Please. Do it for me."
Bean: "OK Mommy. I can be a turtle later."
And he does. He made it 3/4 of the way down the isle all by himself. Mommy was so proud of her little turtle.