Monday, July 19, 2010

Newsletters and Laughs

Six days a week, Mommy is a full-time, stay at home mother. And since Bean is now afraid of 'big ladies and tree fields' and spends most night with Mommy, that means the full 24 hours a day is spent with one or both of the boys.  On Tuesdays, Mommy goes to a job which she enjoys and is only with the boys for 16 of the 24 hours from that day. Some weeks, it is her favorite 8 hours of the week.

Occasionally, Mommy has a meeting that she has to attend in the evenings. This usually only occurs once a month and Mommy is out of the house for no more than 1 1/2 hours. Daddy comes home a little early and plays with the boys until Mommy gets home and helps with bed time. Tonight is one of those nights and Bean is trying to convince Mommy that he can't possibly make it without her. Mommy, on the other hand, is pretty sure he can.

Mommy: "Bean, I am only going to be gone for 1 hour. You and Daddy can build towers."

Bean: "Oh but Mommy, I will miss you."

Mommy: (Bean has been using the 'Mommy I will miss you' line for a few days now. It was cute at first but has now lost it's cuteness factor and Mommy isn't moved by it at all) "Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder. It's good to miss each other. Then we remember how much we love each other."

Bean: "Oh but Mommy, you will forget me."

Mommy: (Knows perfectly well that she is being played, but just in case anyone is listening, she decides to respond with the textbook healthy child development answer so as not to cause any permanent damage) "I will never forget you. I love you. You are my little boy. Now, get out of the way so I can go to my meeting."

Mommy hugs and kisses Bean and Goobs goodbye and gets in the car. Sadly, she finds herself looking forward to her big meeting out where she will get to talk to people about newsletters. Not sure what the implications of this are, but she is pretty sure it has something to do with her diminishing brain power.

Mommy is in her meeting and things are just about to wrap up. She sees that there might be an opportunity for some real adult conversation after the meeting and is thinking she might be able to stick around. Then her phone beeps. She looks at it. Text message from Daddy. She stares at her phone. It can't be anything good. Daddy absolutely hates texting and the only reason he must be doing it is because he knows she can only read texts in her meetings and it must be something important. She looks down the table at all the nice adults talking to each other in nice voices. No one is whining at each other. No one is saying "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, excuse me Mommy" while she is talking. They all let her finish her sentence before they begin talking. She looks down at her phone again and figures she might as well check it. She doesn't have to run home. How bad could it be?

Daddy Text: "Where is Cozy Blanket!!!?"

Mommy: (She sighs, looks at the table of adults, all sipping their beer and talking so nicely to each other she says) "I have to go. See you all later."

Mommy gets home and searches for Cozy. She finds him in the corner of the downstairs bathroom. She begins to walk upstairs and she hears Bean laughing. She takes Cozy up. Bean has just gotten out of the bath and Daddy is putting his pajamas on him.

Bean: "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! You're home! You found Cozy."

Mommy: Yes, I'm home. How was your evening? You have already had your bath I see."

Bean: "So Mommy, how was your meeting?"

Mommy looks at Bean laying there all cute and clean in his jammies. Oh hang it all!  These stinkin' kids. You think you are so glad to get away from them and then you come home and they are all cute and yummy looking in their pajamas and they go and ask you nice pleasant questions like 'how was your meeting Mommy'.

Mommy: "It was fine. Kinda boring I guess."

Bean: (Laughs out loud hysterically with a full belly laugh, which is rare for Bean) "Oh Mommy. You're silly. What was your meeting about?"

Mommy: "Newsletters."

Bean: (Laughs even harder and louder. He laughs so hard that Daddy and Mommy start laughing.) "Oh Mommy. Newsletters. I missed you Mommy."

Mommy figures adult conversation is overrated anyway.

1 comment:

  1. Mommy mommy mommy mommy excuse me excuse me excuse me my ice cream my ice cream my iiiiice cream my IIIIIICE CRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAMMM it's meeeeeeeeeelllllted!

    (sound familiar?)