Goobs is napping. Mommy and Bean are reading stories. Mommy has just finished three stories and Bean brings over the book of children's Bible lessons that Mommom gave him. Today's story is about frogs and tadpoles and how they change as they get bigger, eventually turning into a frog. The point of the story is to illustrate to the children that as they get older they will grow and get bigger and that God loves them and all of that good stuff. The authors of this particular lesson were not aware of the literalist that is Bean.
Mommy: (Reading from the book) "As a tadpole gets bigger, it begins to look more like a frog and it is called a froglet. Finally, the tail disappears completely and the frog is all grown up....God makes all things grow and change. Just like a polliwog, you will get bigger and grow stronger. Everyday you are learning new things. God has wonderful plans for you as you grow up."
Mommy is very pleased with herself. What a nice little story. No scary Bible stories for her three-year-old. No being kept awake at night from reading about things like the poor Lot's wife and her excessive salt intake, no flesh eating whales, and certainly no being thrown to the Lions when you have done something naughty. Nice simple stories about how God loves you and wants the best for you. Mommy figures all of that scary stuff can come later. Right now they will stick with happy thoughts.
Bean: (Takes the book from Mommy and closes it up. Sits for a moment as if in deep thought. Turns to Mommy and with a very serious and worried look on his face) "Mommy, when I get big, am I going to lose my bottom?"
Mommy: (Thinking that perhaps she should have just stuck with the classics like Herod's heart being eaten by worms or Jezebel's blood being licked up by dogs. Perhaps these would have been less traumatic to her son than the idea of his bottom disappearing when he becomes an adult) "No sweetie. You don't have a tail. You just have a bottom and it will be on you always. You will never lose it."
Bean: (Not looking convinced but deciding to take Mommy's word for it) "Good Mommy. What would you do without your favorite tushie?"