Mommy, Bean and Goobs are at the library. They had to run some errands before they went and so they are a little later arriving at the library than is usual. Once they have picked some new books out and played with the toys, they go to the front desk to check out. It is now past lunch time and everyone is quickly losing it.
Bean: (Lets out a big, overly dramatic sigh) "Mommy, this is taking forever."
Mommy: (Wishing the ONE checkout librarian could hurry up just a teensy, weensy little bit) "It isn't taking that long. It will be our turn soon."
They finally get to the check out desk and Mommy has a few overdue fees thanks some truly gripping reads such as "My Dog Is As Smelly As Dirty Socks". It takes the check out librarian a few minutes to figure things out. She is in her early 20's and very, very, very serious. Mommy likes the librarians that have a little bit of a sense of humor. Things always turn out better for her when people can laugh at her, rather than just plain old judge here. And, with they way the hunger induced whining was increasing, she really, really wished the librarian wasn't so serious.
Bean: "Mommy, when will we ever be done?"
Mommy: "Just be patient. We are all moving as fast as we can."
Bean: (Very loudly and NOT whispering in the least and turning his head slightly so that he was taking to Mommy and the librarian) "Mommy, I think I want to tell that lady to hurry up!"
The way Bean says 'hurry up' reminds Mommy of someone. She can't quite put her finger on it. Oh wait, that's it. Bean sounds exactly like Mommy when she tells him he needs to hurry up. Mommy feels a little ashamed and is very glad she is careful not to swear in front of her little magpie.
Mommy: (Does a quick glance to see if the librarian has managed to crack a smile yet. Nope. No luck there.) "No, you will not tell her to hurry up. That is rude. How do you talk to her nicely."
Bean: (Completely sincere in his attempt to be polite) "Ok, Mommy, I will tell her to pleeeeease hurry up."
Mommy looks at the librarian. Come on. That's kinda funny. He's three. Isn't that kinda funny lady? The librarian gives her nothing. Not even a smirk.
Mommy: "No sir. We don't say hurry up. We just wait and be patient. Sometimes it's hard to be patient but that is just too bad. We have to wait."
Bean: "I don't like waiting Mommy."
Mommy loves how literal three year olds are. Before she had any children of her own, she used to scowl at little kids, just like the well rested, bright eyed, makeup wearing, hair done, probably manicured librarian was scowling at her and her son.
Mommy: "Well, we have to. Now apologize to the lady for being rude and impatient please. We need to be polite."
Bean: (Sighs, puts his head down and seems more irritated that he has to do something else, prolonging the visit, than he is about having to apologize) "I'm sorry I was rude. " (Now getting a very sad face and starting to feel bad about the whole thing) "But Mommy, now we can never come back again because I was rude."
Librarian: (With what Mommy thinks might just be a slight grin and maybe feeling a little bad that she wasn't a little bit more understanding) "It's ok. You can come back again."
It's hard to be three.