Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Mommy the Failure

Today was Beans third week of preschool. Mommy was a little worried that the whole things was going to explode in her face. The year started off with her completely forgetting to attend the "Meet the Teacher" night at preschool. She didn't realize she had missed it until the weekend before school started. Upon realizing her mistake, she quickly emailed the teacher, who kindly assured her that it was no big deal and everything was fine. Mommy was much relieved and has been encouraged at how well Bean has been doing with his new routine. Monday drop off was a little rough for Bean, so today he decided to bring cozy blanket with him as an added security.

Mommy dropped Bean off at school, gave him some kisses and hugs and sent him on his way. Bean seemed happy and excited to be in school. Mommy is feeling like perhaps she has things together. This morning went particularly well. After the "Meet the Teacher" debacle, Mommy got herself a calendar and hung it up in the kitchen where she would see it and not be able to forget anything. She was organized Mommy. Together Mommy. Ready for anything the world wants to throw at her Mommy. She was feeling very proud of herself this morning. This should have probably been her first hint.

Mommy arrives to pick up Bean from school. All the parents are waiting outside while the teacher brings them out two at a time. Bean is the first to come out.

Mommy: "Hi Sweetie, how was your day!"

Bean: "Mommy, my backpack is very heavy."

Mommy takes Beans backpack off as as she does she notices that the teacher is still standing there. Mommy looks up at the teacher.

Mrs S.: (She pauses, takes a deep breath and lowers her eyes as if she is going to deliver some bad news) "So Bean was Student of the Day today. Did you forget?"

Each kid gets to be student of the day a few times during the year. When they are student of the day, they get to use the special pointer to help the teacher, bring in one of their favorite things for show and tell and bring a snack in for the class. Bean has been very excited about being student of the day. He has been trying to figure out what he will bring in to show everyone when it is his turn.

Mommy: (Scanning her brain for some forgotten piece of information. She can't find any recollection of this. How has she forgotten it completely? It's just not there. She didn't forget, she didn't know. No one told her.) "What! Today! Wait. I didn't know. I didn't forget. How would I know that he was student of the day?"

Mrs S.: "It was on the September calendar that I handed out at the Meet The Teacher night." (She pauses. and remembers that Mommy wasn't there. Kinda has a little look like, oh you poor, poor woman) "Oh. That's right. You were the only one who wasn't there."

Picture a knife. Now picture it going right through Mommy's poor, disorganized heart. The only one. The only parent who obviously doesn't love her child enough to remember one freaking date. The only one who couldn't hang a calendar on the wall and mark important dates before she actually forgot them. The only one that forgot the healthy snack. The only one who is now going to cry, right there, in front of everyone because she has now understands that this will not be the only time she completely and utterly lets her child down. What a failure is this Mommy. She thinks about Bean spending hour after hour talking about which favorite things he will bring in to show the kids. She thinks about him asking Mommy if he can bring in grapes when he is student of the day. Tears are welling up in her eyes.

Mommy: "Oh man. I feel awful. I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

Mrs S.: "Well, luckily he had cozy blanket with him so he showed that to everyone. And we had some extra snacks."

Mommy: "Will he get to be student of the day again? Was this his only chance?"

Mrs. S.: "He will have lots of chances. Don't worry. It's not a big deal. He was happy to get to use the pointer and he loved showing everyone cozy blanket."

Mommy: "OK. Well, I'm sorry. I have the October calendar posted on the fridge. I won't forget next time."

The teacher pats Mommy on the shoulder and heads inside to finish up dismissing the class. Bean looks up at Mommy. He has a huge smile on his face. If only he knew how badly Mommy screwed up.

Mommy: "Bean, I'm sorry I forgot. I goofed. I won't forget next time I promise."

Bean: (Still smiling ear to ear) "Mommy I got to use the special pointer and we got to have Teddy Grahams and Goldfish for snack.

Mommy: (She had such plans for her first sent in snack. Homemade oatmeal cookies, grapes, juice. Better than stale Goldfish, Teddy Grahams and paper cups of water) "That sounds pretty great. It's a good thing you brought cozy today. You got to show everyone."

Bean: "Yeah, it's what I would have brought in anyway."

Mommy: "Well, I'm sorry I forgot. But I am glad you got to use the special pointer."

Bean: "Yes, the pointer was special. I love you anyway Mommy. Even if you are a goof."


And to think, Mommy was worried that her life was starting to quiet down a little and she wasn't going to have much to blog about anymore. Rest assured readers, if Bean or Goobs are having a quiet week, Mommy will certainly screw something up and give you all something to chuckle about.

Have you ever felt like you were a complete failure when it comes to Motherhood? Please share. It just might make me feel better.

6 comments:

  1. Oh Alli, I know you must've felt terrible, but Bean was happy anyway and that's what counts! I feel like a failure a couple of times a week, lol. I think it goes with the territory... For example, I felt like a failure just this morning for being so tired that I overslept and actually slept through about an hour of Ethan crying for me to get him. He was sitting there for so long wondering where I was! Or yesterday when I told him to wash his hands and didn't help him because I was busy with dinner. He slipped and hit his lip on the sink and got a bloody lip because I wasn't watching. That's just in the last two days! Bean knows how much you love him and he is a happy little guy, so you must be doing something right!

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  2. Thanks Em, sadly those stories do make me feel better. I'm just hoping he doesn't remember it when he is 30.

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  3. I have never made any mistakes, and never feel like a failure. So, although I can't relate, I just laughed my bum off.
    I'm still laughing, my gosh, because it's PRESCHOOL, darnit. We are so screwed when they get to grade school. Big trouble.

    Isn't it funny how organized a calendar can make us feel? I had the exact same thing last year when C started, went out and bought a mammoth calendar, and was like, "This, is my life, in writing. Now all will be well." Then I promptly left my coffee mug and C's shoes on top of the car and drove off blissfully unaware.

    I hold by my judgment: you're a darn good mama. That teacher set you up.

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  4. Oh fellow Mommy, only every day. My daughter's three months old and I feel incompetent every time I can't get her to stop crying. I've accidentally knicked her little finger when trimming her nails, felt horrible when she screamed and screamed after her shots, the list could go on and on.

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  5. OH that's happened to me too. Except it was "Dress up like your favourite book character day..." yes, my child was the ONLY one to turn up wearing his school uniform - out of the.entire.school. #mommyfail

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  6. Baby Mamma: Thanks. I remember the days of the crying. I would sit down and just cry right along with them.

    Ness: These are the kind of things I like to hear. I'm not the only one! Thank you.

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