Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Children

On Thursday, there were some guests for lunch. Bean refers to them as "The Children". Mommy learned that their names are Jerry, Mark and Boojada. Bean was showing them around the fire hall before lunch. While Bean is eating his lunch at the dining room table, "The Children" are having honey toast and oranges on the couch.

Bean: "Mommy, "The Children" want me to finish showing them around after lunch."

Mommy: "OK, finish up, then you and "The Children" can finish the firehouse tour."

Bean: "I am going to show them where we firefighters sleep and eat. Then I will show them where we watch TV. Then I will introduce them to Scott The Fire Dog."

Mommy: (Half paying attention. Really, she just wants Bean to finish up lunch so they can get to rest time already) "Fine, just finish your lunch."

Bean: (Stands on his chairs and cups his hands around his mouth, yelling into the living room, where "The Children" are still sitting on the couch) "I'll be with you in a minute guys. Jerry, stop pushing Mark. Just be patient. I will be there in a minute."

Mommy recognizes the tone in Bean's voice. It sounds an awful lot like Mommy's when she is telling Bean to keep his hands off of Goobs.

The idea of "The Children" feels a little creepy to Mommy - this group of three children that silently move around her house. Mommy glances over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the couch. She know that it is empty and that "The Children" are just a part of Bean's very active imagination, but she can't help herself. She just had to see for herself if Jerry is really as naughty a Bean's says he is.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Bean the Teacher

Mommy, Bean and Goobs are at the table. Bean and Goobs are having their dinner.

Bean: "What are we doing tomorrow Mommy?"

Mommy: "Tomorrow is swimming.I think your regular teacher is out of town so you are going to have a substitute."

Bean: "What does substitute mean Mommy?"

Mommy: "A substitute is when you replace something with something else to do the same job. Like if I didn't have buttermilk for a recipe, I could substitute it with milk and a little lemon juice. Your teacher is going to be out, so they are substituting her with someone else."

Bean continues to eat his dinner. Mommy can see he is thinking.

Bean: (Looks at Mommy an smirks. He is dying to use his new word, but he wants to play a little game with Mommy.) "Mommy, if Daddy needed to fix the glass on his car and he didn't have more glass he could use plastic instead."

Mommy: (Pleased as punch that her little three year old just got the concept she was explaining. She  knows he is playing a game with her) "So you could substitute it, huh."

Bean: (Coily looks at Mommy and nods his head as if he has just taught her something.) "Yes I could substitute it Mommy. Very good."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Cozy Blanket

Today was a sunny, cool, perfect fall day. Rest time went well for everyone. Goobs slept for 2 1/2 hours, Bean rested quietly on the couch while Mommy was actually able to get a nap in herself. The day was progressing so smoothly that Mommy decided to pack the boys into the stroller and take them for a little walk and get herself some exercise. She promised the boys that if they were good on the walk she would swing by the playground on the route home.

So, she took Bean and his Cozy Blanket and Goobs and his Bear and put everyone in the stroller. All packed up and ready to go.

Halfway through the walk, Bean tells Mommy that they forgot cozy blanket. Mommy was blissfully unaware of Bean's comment and didn't really register what he was saying because she was too busy congratulating herself on getting out for a walk.

They swing by the park on the way home, have a wonderful time playing together and then head home so Mommy can start dinner.

Bean is in the living room watching his little show while Goobs and Mommy are in the kitchen cooking dinner. Mommy is standing over the ground beef that is halfway cooked in the frying pan, when she remembers the comment that Bean made to her on their walk. The memory of what she heard sends chills down her spine and a panic sets in.

"Mommy, we forgot Cozy."

Suddenly she realizes what this means. She turns off the meat and starts running around the house, frantically looking for Cozy Blanket. She is trying to do this on the sly because she doesn't want to alarm Bean. She runs outside to see if perhaps Cozy was left in the garage but Mommy can't find Cozy anywhere. She stops. She thinks back to packing the boys up in the stroller. She remembers herself tucking Cozy Blanket in next to Bean in the stroller.

Mommy runs into the living room

Mommy: "Bean, have you seen Cozy? Do you know where Cozy is?"

Bean: (Absorbed in his show, he looks up) "No Mommy. I don't know where Cozy is."

Mommy: "Was he in the stroller with you when we went for a walk. Did you drop him somewhere?"

Bean: (Panic sets in on his face, he realizes what Mommy is getting at and he doesn't like it one bit) "Yes Mommy. We had him, but he wasn't at the park with us."

Mommy: "Did you drop him somewhere Bean?"

Bean: (More panicked now, he is getting a very, very sad look on his face) "He wasn't at the park with us Mommy."

 Mommy is picturing Cozy Blanket, alone, cold and forgotten on the street. Her heart is breaking. He is a member of the family. Everyone loves Cozy Blanket. Mommy knitted Cozy Blanket for Bean before he was born - before Mommy even knew if Bean was a Bean or a Beanette. It was Mommy's first attempt at knitting and it is actually pretty ugly, but Bean has loved it since he was 6 months old and they are inseparable. Cozy has been there for everything. Mommy fully expected to have it tucked in her purse during Bean's high school graduation, college graduation, and even his wedding. Oh Cozy! Where are you!

Mommy: (Trying not to panic and trying really, really hard not to let on how worried she is) "Come with me right now, we are going to look for Cozy."

Bean: (Starting to cry.) "Mommy I miss Cozy. Mommy I feel sad."

Mommy: "Come on, we are going to find him."

Mommy grabs Goobs who still has no pants on from the last diaper change and tells Bean to get in the van right now, even though he has no shoes on. There isn't a moment to spare. She leaves the half cooked hamburger on the stove and grabs her keys. She quickly buckles everyone in the car seats and takes off.

Mommy: "Bean, try and remember where you dropped him. Did you drop him on the road somewhere. It is really important that you remember."

Bean: (Absolutely no help at all, he is really starting to understand that Cozy is in fact lost)  "Oh Mommy. I love Cozy so much. I miss Cozy already. Mommy I feel sad."

Mommy is thrilled that Bean is able to express his emotions so well, but right now, she is on the brink of tears herself and she isn't sure it she can handle Beans emotional honesty.

Mommy: "I know you love him Bean. We all love Cozy Blanket. We will find him. I hope we find him."

Bean: "Mommy, where is Cozy?"

Mommy: (Really not liking having to be Mommy right now, she considers calling her own parents to help in the search. No! She can do this. She is Mommy!)  "I'm working on it Bean. We're going to find him."

Mommy continues to race around the neighborhood, retracing their steps. She gets to the dead end where there is a foot path that connects to their street. She turns the car around and as she does, she sees him. Cozy Blanket. Hanging on a fence buy the road, obviously placed there by someone who walked by, saw him and knew that someone would be back looking for him. Mommy lets out a little yelp, throws the car into park in the middle of the road and jumps out of the car.

Mommy: (She grabs Cozy Blanket off of the fence and hugs him. She smells him. Then she hold him up over her head in triumph) "Thank you God! Thank you for having mercy on this poor, exhausted mother. "

Mommy throws open the van door and reunites Bean with his Cozy Blanket. Bean hugs Cozy.


Mommy: "You are one lucky little boy Bean. I wasn't sure we were going to find him. No more taking Cozy out in the stroller with us. He stays in the car or in the house from now on, got it."

Bean: "Yes Mommy. I would be so sad if I lost Cozy. We will just take him for walks in the car."

Mommy: (Not really sure what that means, but whatever. They found Cozy) "Holy Cow. Crisis averted. Man. That was a close one. Can't replace Cozy. He is a one of a kind. An original."

Bean: "Just like me Mommy."

Mommy: "Yes, just like you. There is no replacing you or Cozy. So don't get lost. And don't lose Cozy again, OK. "

Bean: "OK Mommy. Thank you for finding Cozy."

Goobs: (Reaching for Cozy himself) "Cooeeee! Cooeeee!"

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Monkey Feet

Last fall Mommy bought a pair of sock money slippers for herself from Target. She thought they were cute and they might give Bean a laugh. On her first morning with them she put them on and wore them downstairs. Bean saw them. He didn't say anything, but Mommy could tell by the way he glared at them that Bean was less than thrilled about these new additions. That night she left them in his room after taking them off to lay on the bed and read stories to him. The next morning she went to put them on and she couldn't find them. Later in the day she found them down the laundry shoot.

It continued this way for a while, Mommy wearing her slippers in the morning and then finding them in the laundry shoot later on in the day. She never said anything, figuring that whatever was bothering Bean about the slippers would figure itself out. After a month of this down the laundry shoot game, Mommy finally retired the slippers to the closet and figured she might bring them out again sometime.

This past Monday morning was the first morning of fall that was chilly enough to warrent slippers. Mommy rummaged around in her closet and the choices were limited. Then she saw the practically new, shiny, clean monkey slippers she had forgotten all about. She vaguely remember the issue with them last year and decided that after an entire year, Bean would certainly be over whatever it was that bothered him about the moneky slippers in the first place. So Mommy put them on and went downstairs to greet her family.

Bean: (He is laying on the couch with cozy blanket.) "Morning Mommy."

Mommy: "Morning Bean"

Bean glances at Mommy as she is coming down the stairs. He sits up with a start. He stares at Mommy's feet and his expression appears as if he is a 30 year old man who has just come face to face with the bully from school who used to give him wet willies and wedgies.

Bean: "Why are you wearing those Mommy?"

Mommy: "My feet were cold. I needed some slippers."

Bean: "But Mommy, one time when I was two you left them in my room and they made noise."

Mommy: "They don't make any noise honey. They are just slippers. Don't they have funny faces on them."

Bean just scowls at Mommy and the monkeys on her feet.

Mommy heads downstairs with the monkey slippers to iron a shirt for Daddy to wear to work. Daddy sits on the couch with Bean.

Daddy: (Unlike Mommy, Daddy understands these odd  neuroses that Bean has, because he has them himself.) "Are you a little worried about those slippers? You don't need to be."

Bean: "Daddy, one time Mommy left them in my room and they made noises at me."

Daddy: "Well what did the noise sound like. Was it a monkey sound."

Bean: "No Daddy. They didn't sound like Monkey's. They sounded like this:"

And, from the debths of his bowls, Bean lets out a low, deep, loud gutteral sound that frightens Daddy a little. Mommy comes up from the basement when she hears what sounds like the houds from hell enter her living room.

Mommy: (Startled and a bit alarmed) "What was that noise?"

Daddy: "That was Bean. Apparently that is the sound the monkey slippers made at him one night when he was two."

Daddy: "Maybe you just dreamed that the monkey's made that sound. They don't really make noise Bean."

Bean: (Not at all convinced) "Maybe Daddy. Maybe it was just a dream."

Mommy, Daddy and Bean all glance down at the slippers on Mommy's feet. The slippers are starting to look slightly sinister and admittedly a little creepy so Mommy takes off the slippers and throws them down the laundry shoot.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Identity crisis

Mommy has always suffered from an identity crisis of sorts. She was, and still is, the younger sister to Rachel. Rachel the straight A student. Rachel the daughter that never got into trouble (or a least never got caught). Rachel the one voted most likely to succeed in her high school class. (Mommy was voted biggest feet by the way, no joke.) Rachel the perfect. Perfectly lovely, perfectly smart, perfectly perfect.

Mommy spent her childhood years hearing things like "Oh, you're Rachel's sister, aren't you?" or "Isn't Rachel your older sister?" or "What was your name again? I know your sister Rachel, but I can't remember your name."

Eventually Mommy got used to it and by the time she was 25 or so, it didn't bother her anymore. She has become accustomed to it.

But now Mommy is 35 and all grown up. Now Mommy is a real adult and not just someone's younger sister. Mommy is making a name for herself out in the world. People will no longer know her as 'Rachel's sister'. Mommy envisions people walking up to her in the store or at the gas station and saying "Oh, Allison, I've heard so much about you." Mommy isn't sure yet what exactly people are going to know her for, but that is a mere formality. Now that she is out from under her sister's shadow, the sky's the limit.

Mommy is waiting outside preschool to pick up Bean. She is waiting with Goobs. Another mother comes up and begins talking to Goobs and then to Mommy.

Mother: "Well Hi there. You have the cutest little face don't you?"

Goobs: (Nodding his head up and down as he does when anyone asks him a question) "Yeah"

Mother: (Laughs and turns to Mommy) "Are these your only two? This one and the one inside? Which class is yours in?

Mommy: "Bean is in the 3's class."

The mother stops and looks at Mommy. A wave of recognition comes across her face.

Mother: Wait! Do you guys go to Browncroft Church? Bean! I know him. He is the three year old who talks like he is in fourth grade. Oh we all know him. He's great. Everyone knows him in the children's ministry."

Mommy and Daddy have just recently switched to Browncroft to go to a church a little closer to home. They have been attending for about a month. Already everyone knows who Bean is because he can talk the hind leg off a mule.

Mother: "Oh, so you must be Bean's Mom."

And just like that Mommy is no longer Rachel's sister. Guess she will now be known as Bean's Mom. Not exactly what she had in mind.

Bean's Mommy and her older sister Rachel.