Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Monkey Feet

Last fall Mommy bought a pair of sock money slippers for herself from Target. She thought they were cute and they might give Bean a laugh. On her first morning with them she put them on and wore them downstairs. Bean saw them. He didn't say anything, but Mommy could tell by the way he glared at them that Bean was less than thrilled about these new additions. That night she left them in his room after taking them off to lay on the bed and read stories to him. The next morning she went to put them on and she couldn't find them. Later in the day she found them down the laundry shoot.

It continued this way for a while, Mommy wearing her slippers in the morning and then finding them in the laundry shoot later on in the day. She never said anything, figuring that whatever was bothering Bean about the slippers would figure itself out. After a month of this down the laundry shoot game, Mommy finally retired the slippers to the closet and figured she might bring them out again sometime.

This past Monday morning was the first morning of fall that was chilly enough to warrent slippers. Mommy rummaged around in her closet and the choices were limited. Then she saw the practically new, shiny, clean monkey slippers she had forgotten all about. She vaguely remember the issue with them last year and decided that after an entire year, Bean would certainly be over whatever it was that bothered him about the moneky slippers in the first place. So Mommy put them on and went downstairs to greet her family.

Bean: (He is laying on the couch with cozy blanket.) "Morning Mommy."

Mommy: "Morning Bean"

Bean glances at Mommy as she is coming down the stairs. He sits up with a start. He stares at Mommy's feet and his expression appears as if he is a 30 year old man who has just come face to face with the bully from school who used to give him wet willies and wedgies.

Bean: "Why are you wearing those Mommy?"

Mommy: "My feet were cold. I needed some slippers."

Bean: "But Mommy, one time when I was two you left them in my room and they made noise."

Mommy: "They don't make any noise honey. They are just slippers. Don't they have funny faces on them."

Bean just scowls at Mommy and the monkeys on her feet.

Mommy heads downstairs with the monkey slippers to iron a shirt for Daddy to wear to work. Daddy sits on the couch with Bean.

Daddy: (Unlike Mommy, Daddy understands these odd  neuroses that Bean has, because he has them himself.) "Are you a little worried about those slippers? You don't need to be."

Bean: "Daddy, one time Mommy left them in my room and they made noises at me."

Daddy: "Well what did the noise sound like. Was it a monkey sound."

Bean: "No Daddy. They didn't sound like Monkey's. They sounded like this:"

And, from the debths of his bowls, Bean lets out a low, deep, loud gutteral sound that frightens Daddy a little. Mommy comes up from the basement when she hears what sounds like the houds from hell enter her living room.

Mommy: (Startled and a bit alarmed) "What was that noise?"

Daddy: "That was Bean. Apparently that is the sound the monkey slippers made at him one night when he was two."

Daddy: "Maybe you just dreamed that the monkey's made that sound. They don't really make noise Bean."

Bean: (Not at all convinced) "Maybe Daddy. Maybe it was just a dream."

Mommy, Daddy and Bean all glance down at the slippers on Mommy's feet. The slippers are starting to look slightly sinister and admittedly a little creepy so Mommy takes off the slippers and throws them down the laundry shoot.


  1. i am laughin so hard that tears are running down my face!!!!

    oh how i love bean!!!

  2. ok, i have those same slippers and i will never be able to wear them again now! hilarious AND slightly frightening! :)

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