Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Smelly Mommy

Goobs has been sick for 4 days. Fever, chills, runny nose, cough. He hasn't been eating much, so Mommy has been giving him a little extra in his evening bottle (Mommy's last link to her baby).

On the first night after his evening bottle, he promptly projectile vomited the entire bottle up along with the blueberries Mommy managed to get him to eat for dinner. Unfortunately for Mommy, she happened to be holding Goobs at the time and so she was puked on as well. Later that evening, after everyone is finally settled, Daddy and Mommy are sitting on the couch watching TV. Daddy leans over to give Mommy a kiss.

Daddy: "Um, you kinda still smell like puke. Did you change your clothes?"

Mommy: (Slightly offended that her husband is telling her she smells) "Yes! I don't smell it. Is it in my hair? "
 
Daddy: "I don't know. Gross. How do you not smell that? I would have taken a shower or something."
 
Mommy just shrugs and goes back to watching TV. She figures it will all come out, wherever it is, during her evening shower.

On the second night, the same thing happens. Goobs loses his entire bottle. Mommy again is puked on. Not just a little puke, but a good soaking puke. Later that night she is downstairs at her computer.

Mommy: (Starts sniffing. She smells puke. She changed her clothes, washed her hands. She can't figure out where the smell is coming from. She turns to Daddy) "Do you smell like puke or is it me?"

Daddy: (Not wanting to say anything after the last night) "Um, I don't smell anything"

Mommy: "Hmmm. Maybe I just have puke on the brain."

Daddy: (Wisely remains slient)

The third night, Goobs pukes again. This time, he does it just as Mommy is putting him into his crib for bed. He manages to throw up all over himself, Mommy (including her socks and slippers) the crib, crib bedding and his wall. Mommy takes all her clothes off and puts them in a pile with everything else. She puts on fresh clothes and let's Daddy finish putting Goobs to bed while she goes in to put Bean to bed. She lays down on Beans bed to read him his stories.

Bean: (Starts smelling the air) "Mommy. What's that smell? I smell something stinky." (He starts sniffing at her.)

Mommy: (Not at all amused. She can handle her fair share of puke, but a full on puke soaking three nights in a row is a little much.) "It's me. I smell. I smell like throw up, OK. I'm Mommy and I smell like throw up because Goobs threw up on me."

Bean: "I think it smells stinky Mommy. I don't like how throw up smells. Change your clothes Mommy."

Mommy: "I did but the smell seems to be lingering. Do you want Daddy to read you your stories if I am too smelly for you."

Bean: "That's ok Mommy, I will just hold my nose, like this."

Bean pinches his nose shut and remains that way the entire time Mommy reads him his stories. So much for Mommy's self esteem.

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