Thursday, April 28, 2011

Another Top Ten

I've had a few inquires as to why the blog has been so sporadic lately. Here's an update.

Top Ten Reasons Mommy Can't Blog as Often as She Would Like:

10. Sickness - Someone in the house has been sick with something (including the dog) since Thanksgiving. No joke. There have been a total of two weekend all winter (and in upstate NY winter lasts 6 months) that the whole family has been healthy.

9. Exhaustion - See above.

8. New Baby - Not my new baby, but my little sister's. She's a mom now. Which is so very exciting and I am over the moon about it and he is just the most delicious baby ever and I just love him to bits and pieces already even though I haven't met him yet because they are all the way over in Germany and it is killing me that I don't get to smell him. As you can see I am very overcome with emotion about the whole thing which has made me distracted and unable to write.

7.  Engagement - My older sister got engaged. It was a big deal. We met the fiance (Pfewf, he is a keeper and we all love him.) There was an engagement party, a full 3 day weekend of making wedding plans and some serious exhaustion. Happy exhaustion, but exhaustion.

6. Broken Computer - See this post for details. New computer has arrived, hence the post you are reading.

5. Goobs - First let me say, I love him. He is my son and I love him very much and have always been very glad that he is in our lives. Having said that...the kid is a maniac! At the end of the day (which is when i used to write) I collapse on the couch and it takes 3 hours to recover. He is only 21 months old but he can rival the activity of a set of 2 year old twins. The kid is a tornado. Loveable, and delicious, and sweet and yummy. But a tornado and my life is complete chaos.

4. Bean - I guess it is only fair to list Bean as a reason as well. But, he is getting older and is actually the easier of the two at this point. I remember  being mortified once when I read an article about a mother who confessed to having a favorite child. She admitted that while she loved them all, there were time when one was more enjoyable than the other. I'm not so mortified now. Of course each stage of development has its ups and downs, but 4 is kinda nice. Not that Bean is my favorite of course, because there is nothing, I say, nothing cuter than Goobs's tushy running down the hall at bath time, but the fact that Bean is past the stage of playing with everything in my kitchen drawers and scattering it all over the floor is kinda nice.

3. Ernie - The dog has been getting into the diapers. He used to get the kitchen trash. Now he is interested in wet diapers (thankfully all dirty ones go outside immediately). Anyone seen a wet diaper after it has been ripped apart by a dog? Not pretty. Cleanup involves a lot of vacuuming. And, just when I have had enough and I vow to open the door and let the blasted dog run free and not look for him, Goobs runs and gets a bone from the pantry and gives it to Ernie who ever so gently gets it out of the baby's hand and eats it then give Goobs a big old lick on the face as if to say, "Thanks man, at least someone is looking out for me and now we have a special bond because I have an awful lot of your pee in my belly." Then Goobs lets out a huge squeal and hugs the dog and says, "Ernie, Kiss" and kisses Ernie and then I remember that Goobs's first steps were taken to the stinkin' dog and that the two of them are buddies and I can't get rid of the dog any more than I can get rid of Goobs.

2. Goobs - Did I mention him already? Well, here he is again because he is just that crazy. Good grief I love him. Sad thing is, there is something very endearing about his mischievousness and how he does things just to make Bean mad, like turn off the TV when Bean is watching a show and then run to the other room. Or trying to steal cozy blanket from Bean. It's like there is some primal instinct we younger siblings have to push our older siblings buttons. Onward Goobs. You do your mother proud!

1. Motherhood - It's been busy.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Mr. Rochester Fassbender

Dear Michael Fassbender:

According to my records you now owe me a whopping $613.75. Below is a breakdown of the debt incurred because of your charm.

4/5/11 - Item: Computer - $550. The cost of replacing the computer that I completely destroyed by dumping an entire large cup of coffee on it while watching the preview to Jane Eyre in anticipation of seeing it on the big screen on Friday of the same week.

4/5/11 - Item: Large Coffee - $4.50: See above.

4/9/11 - Item: Sauce Ingredients - $2.75: Burned while watching this clip 6 times in a row on You Tube.

4/9/11 - Item: High End Teflon Pot - $45.00 - Ruined by burned sauce (see above) after finding this clip of Jane Eyre on You Tube after burning sauce.

4/10/11 - Item: Admission Ticket - $8.00: Price of admission for me to see this movie a second time in three days, adding to the over all obsession. You are not being charged for the first ticket because I made a conscious choice to see this movie and was not yet under your influence.

4/11/11 - Item: Kitchen Cart Drawer Repair - $10.00: Price of repairs to a kitchen drawer that Goobs pulled out and threw on the floor while I was reading passages of Jane Eyre for the third time in three days. Usually when I read this book (4-5 times a year) I am able to read from beginning to end without getting caught up. But, for some reason, this time through I find myself stopping at certain passages wondering how you would say it.

4/11/11 - Item: Diet Coke (2 cans) $1.50 - The cost of replacing two cans of diet coke that Goobs dumped out on the living room floor while watching this interview of you on You Tube.

And, if I start reading romance novels I reserve the right to bill you for my expensive college education and degree in English literature that was to guarantee me a lifetime of good taste in literature which you may have completely ruined by turning me into a simpering twit who has become disgustingly sentimental.

For the personal safety of my children, my sanity and the general state of my home, I must part from you and your lovely Irish brogue.

I'll have my people contact your people about where you can send your payment. Thank you.

Sincerely Yours,