Friday, May 27, 2011


Friday night. Mommy is on the phone with Mommom.

Mommom: "I forgot to tell you. The other day when I was over there I think I saw some fleas. I thought maybe you might want to check Ernie. "

Mommy: "Fleas? Really? That's weird. Ernie never usually gets them. He is hardly outside."

Mommy's mind starts to run away with her. Ernie has been very itchy lately. They thought it was just the seasonal allergies he usually get every spring, but now that she thinks about it, it has gone on for a while. Mommy's head feels itchy so she itches it. Great. Even though Ernie isn't allowed on the furniture or the beds, Mommy is usually too distracted with the rugrats to keep an eye on Ernie let alone reprimand him if he quietly goes and lays down somewhere he isn't supposed to. That means if he does have fleas they are on all the beds and couches. Mommy's itches her arm.

Mommy: "Kay, thanks. I better go."

Mommy itches her leg then calls up to Daddy. He comes down to the basement.

Mommy: "So, that was my Mom and she said that she saw some fleas the other day. Can you check Ernie."

Daddy: "I give him his medicine every month. He shouldn't have fleas." Daddy itches his head, then looks at Mommy a little worried. "I 'll go check."

Mommy sits down in the itchy basement and waits for Daddy to return.

Daddy: "I didn't see any thing on him. Just his rashy parts from the allergies. I just gave him some more Benedryl."

Mommy: "I knew he didn't have fleas. That would have been weird."

Daddy: "Do you think they came from the boys?"

Mommy: "The fleas?"

Daddy: "Well, the bugs. Maybe they weren't fleas. Maybe they were just bugs. Don't kids get bugs?"

Mommy and Daddy just look at each other with a bit of a frightened look on their faces. Then they both give a sort of unconvinced half-laugh, because their kids wouldn't have bugs, would they?

Sunday, May 15, 2011


Well, Mommy's first giveway is offically closed and we have a winner. There were 5 comments, left by 4 different readers. I'm thinking that maybe I need to beef up my readership. I could have sworn there were more than 5 people who read this blog, like family (you know who you are sisters, mother, father, aunts) and friends (I swear I have some).

And the winner is:

Kassia (comment #2).

And, if I may say so, she is one lucky lady because the little bag is super cute.

Enjoy Kassia! Watch for more giveaways because even though I didn't have hundreds of comments (I'll admit it was a fantasy I had), it was fun to connect with people and I loved the comments. They did all make me feel much better and that perhaps I'm not as crappy a mother as I sometimes think I am.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mommy's First Giveaway

Mommy's sister Bethie sent her some Liberty of London fabric for Mommy's birthday. Bethie got it for Mommy during her last excursion to London and made Mommy promise that she would make something for herself with it, and not give it away. So, Mommy made herself a beautiful new little lap quilt.

Bean is sitting on the couch watching a show during a short rest time when Mommy comes in and sits on the couch with Bean so that she can work on the binding of her new lovely, girly, purple quilt.

Bean: "Oh Mommy, that is soooo pretty."

Mommy: "Thanks. It's from the fabric Aunt Bethie sent me."

Bean: "Oh Mommy! Is it for me?"

Mommy: "No, actually it is for me. I finally made myself a quilt. This is just for me."

Bean: "I think you should share it with me Mommy."

Mommy: (Wondering where the whole sharing thing ends and how to let him know that the fact that she shared her uterus with him for 9 months and her breasts with him for a full year means she doesn't really have to share anything with him ever again if she chooses not to.) "Well, no. I'm not going to share it with you. This quilt is just for me. I made it for myself. I already made you your own quilt. It's upstairs. If you would really like another one, we can talk about that. But this is mine. I'm not sharing it with you."

Bean: (Frowning at Mommy like she often does at him) "Mommy, (insert dramatic pause) that's selfish and selfish isn't nice."

Mommy furrows her own brow. She is determined not to cave. This quilt is made out of Liberty of London fabric. $36 a yard. It's hard to come by here in the States. Mommy wasn't about to part with it, even if it was selfish.

Mommy: "Well, I guess I am being selfish. This was a gift to me from Aunt Bethie and I really love it. I want to keep it for myself."

Mommy hears herself say these things and realizes that she does in fact sound pretty selfish and for a moment she actually considers handing the quilt over to Bean. Then she looks around and realizes that she has shared her body, her brain and her entire life with these little rug-rats and that they should be grateful.

Mommy: "Yeah, I'm keeping it. But maybe you can borrow it."

So in order to keep Mommy's selfishness at bay, she is giving away a little zipper bag (like the ones she sells on etsy) made with some of the Liberty of London fabric. It's perfect for your little lips glosses or chap sticks. Just leave a comment reassuring Mommy that she isn't a horrible selfish mother or telling why you are a selfish Mommy and you will be entered into the drawing. Leave comments by 11:50 pm Saturday May 14th and I will draw the winner at random and post who won.

Here's to being selfish!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Detective Bean to the Rescue

Monday evening. Bath time (why does everything seem to happen at bath time?) Daddy is already upstairs with Bean and Goobs. Mommy was taking her 10 minute break in the basement while Daddy changed out of his suit and spent some time getting the boys good and hyper before bedtime. Mommy doesn't have the nerve to complain about it though because she gets to go down to her basement for 10 sweet, delicious, quiet, peaceful minutes and just sit and stare at nothing in particular. She has heard the bath water start, which is her cue to head upstairs and begin the bedtime ritual.

There are many parenting decisions that Mommy second guesses herself on. But, one of the best decisions she ever made as a mother was setting a 7:00 bedtime for her young children. This is her sanity. No matter how bad the day is, no matter how exhausted she feels, no matter how many time she has heard herself say "no" and "please stop that" and "get off the dinning room table" and "keep you hands to yourself" and "please, please for the love of God you two, just be still for a moment" she can know that at 7:00 it all stops and they both pass out and are not heard from again until 6:30 am the following morning.

Mommy makes it upstairs and Daddy is in the bathroom getting the tub filled with bubbles and toys. Bean and Goobs are both standing in Goobs' crib.

Goobs: "Mama, up. Run run run bathroom. Goobs out!"

Mommy lifts Goobs out of the crib, strips him down and watches as he runs buck naked into the bathroom. Meanwhile, Bean is still in Goobs' crib, talking to himself about arresting and catching bad people. He has his detective hat on and his police badge in his pocket, which is where he keeps it when he is being an undercover detective. Mommy works on picking a few things up in Goobs' room. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Bean climb out of the crib and go into Mommy's room.

Mommy: "Kay Bean, get in that tub. Time for a bath."

Bean: "In a minute Mommy."

Mommy: "No, not in a minute. Now please."

Bean: "OK Mommy."  Mommy should have been suspicious at how little he protested. But she was too tired to register it.

Bath time continues and after everyone is clean they are hoisted out, dried off and jammied. Mommy is on Goobs duty tonight, Daddy gets Bean. Mommy has diapered, dressed and sleep sacked Goobs and he has read his current favorite book "Dance Little Pookie" 4 times.  Mommy starts tucking him in and notices that "B" and Friend are missing. "B" is his worn out smell bear that he chews on, sucks on, hugs, squeezes and loves. Friend is the identical bear that Mommy bought to have as a back up which has now become the Friend of B. Both of them need to come to bed with Goobs. That didn't exactly work out as Mommy intended, but never the less, both are necessary for bedtime. Tonight, both are missing.

Mommy: "Daddy, have you seen B and Friend?"

Daddy: "They were both in the crib when I put him in there before I started the water. Where did they go?"

Mommy: "I don't know. They were there when I took Goobs out of the crib and left..."

It occurs to Mommy that they may not have magically disappeared.

Mommy: "Bean, have you seen B and Friend."

Bean: (In his room with Daddy getting ready for bed) "No  Mommy. I don't know where they could possibly be."

Mommy: "Are you sure? They were in the crib with you the last time I looked."

Bean: "I don't know where they are Mommy. Maybe Detective Bean knows where they are."

Mommy: "Well do me a favor, ask detective Bean where "B" and Friend are. Goobs wants to go to bed and he can't without them."

Bean hops down from his bed and runs to the doorway of Mommy's room. He spreads his arms out as far as they will go in an attempt to block anyone from entering Mommy's room.

Bean: (With a huge grin on his face) "Detective Bean doesn't know where they could possibly be."

Mommy: (From her doorway, Mommy can see "B" and Friend under her bed) "I think that detective Bean had better find them or regular boy Bean will have to give Goobs his cozy blanket to sleep with tonight.

Bean runs and retrieves the two bears from their hiding place, brushes off the dust bunnies and hands them both to Mommy.

Bean: "Detective Bean saves the day!"