Saturday, March 24, 2012

Daddy's Guest Post 2

Day 1. Got Bean dropped off at school on time, and with everything he needed to have with him. Got everybody dressed and breakfasted. Even got some coffee. Feeling pretty good. While Bean is in school, Daddy and Goobs go to the grocery store. Goobs is pretty good to grocery shop with. if you lean down low over the cart, he will throw his long spidery arms around your neck and say things like "I love you Daddy, you're a nice Daddy, Daddy."

But, being Goobs, he's not completely above a little mischief. While weeling him through the produce section, (for, like, the fourth time, because Daddy goes through shopping lists in order, rather than reading through the list to get all the things in one area at one time, because Daddy doesn't know the store layout that well), Goobs reaches out a long spidery arm, and knocks a little carton of cherry tomatoes off the shelf. Wow, those things really roll well. Daddy starts to pick them up, and a grumpy looking produce clerk comes over and helps, which makes Daddy feel the need to apologize and lecture.

Daddy: (to Clerk) I'm, sorry, I'm sorry (to Goobs) Goobs, look at this mess, look what you did. Oh Goobs, that is not nice. Goobs that is naughty. That is bad Goobs.

Goobs: Soooorry Daaady. Promise I won't spill the tomatoes again.

So we finish cleaning up, and Daddy heads over to get some grapes. Daddy picks up a bag of grapes, and it is slightly unbalanced in his hand, and a big clump, together with a whole bunch of loose grapes fall out of the bag onto the floor. Wow, those things really roll well. So Daddy starts to clean those up. Luckily the clerk doesn't come this time.

Goobs: Hey Daddy, you spilled those grapes.

Daddy: Yes, I spilled the grapes.

Goobs: Hey Daddy, that's not nice. That's naughty Daddy. (Then, picking up the volume a little bit, craning his neck looking for a Clerk): Hey, Daddy spilled the grapes! Daddy spilled the grapes!


Daddy's Guest Post

So apparently I agreed to guest post. And obviously I agree to things too easily. So here goes...

Daddy got a bad feeling on Mommy's last day here, when Daddy decided to put a removeable shelf from Goobs's play kitchen in the dishwasher. So Goobs got a play kitchen for Christmas. Goobs also likes apple juice juice boxes. Goobs loves apple juice, but he really loves it in a juice box, because then he can take out the straw, turn it upside down, and squeeze the juice all over his play kitchen. So Goobs's play kitchen is often sticky. So Daddy thought, instead of wiping this shelf off again, why not just throw it in the dishwasher? It's gotta be dishwasher safe right? After all it's the shelf to his play dishwasher. So this happened:

And then we didn't manage to get it out of sight in time.

Goobs: Hey, what happened to my shelf!?

Daddy: Daddy accidentally put it in the dishwasher.

Goobs: You did that to my shelf Daddy?

Daddy: Yes. It was an accident.

Goobs: That's not nice. Daddy, that's not nice.

Oh, I am so screwed.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Mommy's Trip

Mommy is taking a trip. In three days, Mommy leaves for a 12 day trip to Europe. First she will spend two blissful, peaceful, utterly British days in London, which Mommy is suspecting is  going to be her favorite city of all time. Then she will travel to Bath where she will meet her sister Beth, brother-in-law Jess, and her super-duper cute nephew Wills. They will spend three days in Bath, then drive to Dover where they will say goodbye to the UK and head to Beth and Jess's home in Heidelberg, Germany. Mommy will spend the remainder of her 12 days there in Germany visiting with her sister and squeezing her nephew. Daddy is taking those days off of work and will be home with the boys. Alone.

It is lunch time and Mommy and Daddy are discussing some details about her being gone.

Bean: "I'm so excited that I get you for 12 days Daddy. I get you all to myself. Aren't you excited. You get us for 12 days!"

Mommy: (Grinning from ear to ear because she is thinking that is is 12 days of complete freedom for her.) "He is excited. In fact Bean, just last night he was saying that he can't wait."

Daddy: (Gives Mommy a look. Mommy suspects he is beginning to wonder what it was that he agreed to now that the trip is just days away.) "Honestly Bean, I'm not sure if I am excited or scared. Maybe a little of both."

Goobs: "I promise to be good Daddy."

Mommy: (Sweet mischievous Goobs. Mommy grabs his hand and gives his cheek a little squeeze) "No, remember Goobs. I said that you have to be good, but not too good. Just be your usual self."

Goobs: "I will be just regular Goobs."

Mommy: "Yeah, just be regular Goobs. Just a little bit bad to keep Daddy on his toes." (Mommy winks at Daddy. He isn't smiling about it quite as much as he was a few weeks ago when Mommy made the same joke.)

Bean: "Mommy, we are going to be having so much fun we won't even miss you. Isn't that great!" (Bean is very, very excited about having Daddy home for 12 days.)

Daddy: "Well, I have a feeling that we are going to miss her. More than I first suspected."

Mommy: "Too late. Everything is bought and paid for. I'm going. I will try to miss you guys but I can't make any promises. I might just forget all about you while I drink tea, eat scones and think my thoughts - uninterrupted!"

Daddy: (Now picturing Mommy sitting in a London tea room, drinking tea, eating scones, reading a book by herself with no one climbing on her, asking her to wipe their bottoms, whining for more milk or seconds on dinner, no snotty noses to wipe with her napkin and being able to use real dishes from which she will eat real food instead of sloppy joe's off of tupperware plates. Daddy gets a very serious look on his face.)  "Just promise to come home."

Mommy: "I promise."

Daddy has agreed to guest post while Mommy is in Europe. Check back to see how things are going.

Sunday, March 4, 2012


Bean has been doing this new thing. At any given moment he will take his pants off, put them on his head and then grab a comb and hold it on his upper lips like it is a mustache.

Bean: "See Mommy, I'm and Italian and I wear my pants on my head."

Mommy has no explanation for this bizarre behavior.