Saturday, July 28, 2012

Potty Training

Goobs is potty training. Mommy is up to her eyeballs in human excrament. Potty training is decidedly Mommy's least favorite part of parenting.

Mommy is sitting at her desk in the kitchen. She hears Goobs attempting to sneak up on her in the kitchen. He rounds the corner, completely naked.

Goobs: (Puts his hand to his mouth and in a whisper) "Mommy, I did a toot."

Mommy: "Oh no! Goobs where did you do the toot?"

Goobs: "On the potty!" And from behind his back he pulls out the training potty bowl and proudly sticks in in Mommy's face. "See! I did it on the potty!"

Mommy: (Holding her breath because she has a bowl of poop being held in her face) "That's great Goobs! Awesome! Now let's flush it and wipe up."

Goobs: "But look at it Mommy! Isn't is great!"

Mommy: (Reluctantly glances down and sees his giant, full man sized poop in the little training potty bowl and almost loses her breakfast.) "Yes, Goobs, it's wonderful. Great job. Now can we please flush it. It's stinky."

Who ever said motherhood wasn't glamorous.